It was a rude awakening, louder than any alarm clock could ring, colder than the sting of water splashing upon my resting eyes.   It was rude enough to awake much more than my physical body.  Waking up to the startling crash of two cold pieces of metal on wheels while in the drivers seat realizing I had fallen asleep at the wheel.  The nervousness wasn’t from the other driver’s heated rampage, nor from the anxiety felt just thinking of my dad’s bitter and disappointed glare.  The flashing red and blue lights, I’ve seen them before, and this anxiety, this nervous reaction was different.

Ironically, about 8 hours before the accident, I had lead the congregation into worship at a youth event at church, proclaiming my realization that my life has more meaning than I could possibly comprehend, in hopes that God himself may inspire the same realization within others that afternoon, Yet, here I stood, in utter disbelief with a shivering soul, as if I was experiencing my own personal Ice Age.

The only question I could ask myself during the succeeding moments was “Why?”  Not necessarily, “Why did this have to happen to me now?” or “Why did this have to happen to me?” but there was a deeper answer I longed for. “Why was I given the chance?” What would the heartbeats  and breathes after this even mean? Of course I was eternally grateful, yet my soul did not experience the warmness of gratitude.  My soul had awakened.  Not by injuries was I disturbed, nor by the potential financial dismay that came product of this event, but by the ver fact that my soul had been sleeping.

The realization before hand, in the comfortability of the church walls, that secured my words were not enough.  I had to experience the very possibility of my life being lost to realize what really was at stake.  Each heartbeat, each breathe means something, and if I were to fall asleep at the wheel of my own life, going with the natural flow of events, I would find myself in a place unfamiliar with little notion of what to do.  Not many people get a “second chance,” but for those who receive one, the appreciation for what could have been lost, for me my very own life, heightens to new heights.  It is only then when I saw the potential of my own life, the difference God wouldn’t have made, if me his instrument wasn’t helplessly strapped to the safety belt.  

Its scary looking back on that fateful event, and some instances in my life don’t allow me to easily wipe away the memory like a harmless spill on the kitchen counter, but in close proximity of death, I realized the valu of life itself, and that life has purpose.  Through my journey to seek God’s purpose for my life, eventually I can only hope that my life fulfills the meaning that it is meant to have.

AMDG

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Victim? what comes to mind when this word is applied to someone. A feeling of encagement, of an overwhelming burden, where one is being attacked, bombarded.  But the fact of the matter is that when one sees themselves as a victim it overshadows what is really meant to encompass our every being.  Love itself captures us, overwhelms us, and is constantly implying itself upon us.  If we are to say we believe in who God is, then we must believe in His unfailing Love, in the fact that He is Love. Don’t forget your maker, your creator, and your truest Lover. We are no longer victims of sin, because of what Christ has done, but Victims of Love.

Looking down, I reached into the small, shallow pockets of my jeans only to realize that I didnt have the necessary coins to start the dryer.  Sadly I stood there, hoping that in some way I would be as lucky to find a quarter on the floor, or even a quarter lying deeper within my pocket.  During my search I found something different, something much more valuable than any paper bill or metal coin.  A small, Filipino woman, with a smile so genuine initiated conversation with the general question, “Are you a Filipino.” Its funny how this conversation somewhat built a bridge, even a window to her own life, and as I stood leaning upon the table infront of me, with every detail of her life, for some reason I was captured. We had something in common, and it went beyond just “being Filipino”.  There’s a common need with all people to belong, to be loved, to be acknowledged, to be engaged in conversation with…but why? Why do we yearn so much for the attention of others, why do we feel as if it is a necessity?  Well, because thats exactly what it is, everyone needs each other, God didn’t call us to live lonely lives, He wanted us to need each other, to enjoy each other, and how Beautiful God is for revealing Himself to us in such humble ways. and in some way we are weaved within each other with an unlimited amount of commonalities, and it becomes impossible to say, I just dont have anything in common with anyone. and at the end of the day ww must realize…We are one body.